My Life as a Zao Fan

This blog is the first of series of blogs that I will be writing on regarding some of my favorite bands, bands that have affected and touched my life in a tremendous way. The first band I've decided to write on is; Zao. For those of you who do not not know who Zao is, Zao is a "metal core" that has been around since 1993, they are in my opinion, one of, perhaps the greatest metal core bands of all-time. They are a band that truly have touched my life along with so many of their faithful and loyal fans lives. The reason why I decided to go with Zao first for the bands that have impacted me is probably because a few members and ex-members have been on the podcasts I enjoy listening to; Urban Achiever with Billy Power, The Bad Christian Podcast, and As The Story Grows. I'm the type that I'll listen to a podcast and whoever gets interviewed I usually want to listen to the band in which the person or people who got interviewed were in. So I've been listening to a lot of Zao lately, which I'm listening to right now as I write this. Even though Zao has a number of member changes and off and on hiatus' I have and always will be a huge fan and continue to support them. If you are a fan of Zao I hope you enjoy this blog. If you're not a fan of Zao or if you have never even heard of Zao, please read it anyway, to hear my love and passion for this amazing band.

The first time I heard Zao was on a compilation CD, by Tooth and Nail Records called; "Songs From the Penalty Box." This compilation CD had a variety of punk and hardcore bands on it, plus it was hockey theme; three things that I love, so of course I bought it, it was only $5. The 10th track of 21on the CD, was a song called Exchange by Zao, I remember sitting in room listening to the album, which had some great tracks by bands like; Stavesacre, mxpx, Living Sacrifice, strong arm, 90 Pound Wuss. But this was my first time I had ever heard Zao, and I was blown away, by the vocals, the drums, a sound I had never really heard, let's just say I was very impressed. The next thing I wanted to do was go out and find their album.

It took a couple months but I finally I had the money and was able to find some where to buy my first Zao album, which was their first Solid State Records release; "Splinter Shards the Birth of Separation." Needless to say when I bought this album and put it in my CD player I was not disappointed. Two things about this album that really stood out were the vocals, this was the original vocalist of Zao, Shawn Jonas. I had never heard vocals like this before, his screaming was like something I had never heard before, and their were times he would hold a note for so long, you'd think he'd pass out, but I just loved the vocals. Another aspect of the music that stood was the drumming, by Jesse Smith who was with the band for 5 albums, Jesse Smith is an amazing drummer, who now has own band, Jesse and The Holy Ghost. After this album I became a Zao fan.

In 1998, every member left the band, except for drummer Jesse Smith, they all left for a variety of reasons. So Jesse went out and recruited a whole new group of talented guys. Basically, "Where Blood and Fire Bring Rest" was a whole new band, with Russ Cordell on guitar (who is still in the band) Brett Detar on guitar, and Daniel Weylandt on lead vocals (who also currently still in the band). When Blood and Fire came out I was a little hesitant about getting the album, being that it was a whole new lineup. I ordered Blood and Fire through mail order through Tooth and Nail Record/Solid State Records. Now keep in my mind this was before social media, there was no Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, or even myspace, so you can hear a preview of the album, there wasn't even iTunes so you get listen to a portion of the song. The day arrived when, "Where Blood and Fire Bring Rest" came in the mail, I ripped open the package, and I loved the cover. I put the CD into my CD player and pressed play... Holy crap, the first song; "Lies of Serpents, a River of Tears" Well as soon as I heard the first song, I became a even bigger fan of Zao. Nothing against the original members, they were the Genesis of the band, but the new Zao, was just simply amazing. Another change in Zao was the lyrics, the old Zao was very in your face evangelical, while the new Zao had lyrics were a lot more about the struggles of life. Daniel Weylandt was not only the new singer but he was also the new lyricist of the band. This album had songs about dealing with suicide and death, the lyrics really touched myself along with their listeners and fans. I just want to say that ever since; "Blood and Fire" Daniel Weylandt is one of my favorite lyricist and in my opinion one of the greatest in music and defiantly the greatest in this genre of music. To me; "Where Blood and Fire Bring Rest", is one of the most ground breaking albums of all-time, it's one of my all-time favorite albums and it's an album that will never get old.

In March of 1999 I finally had the amazing opportunity to see Zao live, I was able to see them for 2 straight nights. During this time I was going to Bible College, I attended Bible College with the members of Point of Recognition (what's up Aaron, Isaac, Jesse, and Michael if you read this). But Zao flew out to Southern California to play a couple shows with; Overcome, Training for Utopia, and Point of Recognition. The first night was in Riverside, CA, where I got my lip busted open (I still have the scar) in the pit during Overcome. Zao headlined the show, throughout the week we all super excited to see Zao, a few of us were talking about how the vocals were going to sound, because there was debate on if they did some kind of strange stuff to the vocals during the recording to have Daniel sound like that. Well as they were warming up, Daniel warmed up his vocals, and what it sounded like on the CD was what he sounded like live. I remember Isaac, Portland Paul and I looking at each and just being "Holy crap", that was awesome. Each night they put on a great set, and played some new stuff, from an album (Liberate Te Ex Inferis) that was going to be coming out later in the year. I have even found their full set from the second night where they played in San Bernardino on YouTube, Zao live. Little side note and wrestling history, the venue Zao played in that night is the venue where Mankind (Mick Foley) made his WWF debut by attacking The Undertaker.

I cannot mention Zao albums without mentioning a split CD they did with Training for Utopia (Ryan Clark of Demon Hunter was the lead singer/guitarist of TFU). But there was one a song on this album by Zao (which you can only get on this album), that I was completely able to relate to; Walk on By, Walk on Me (The Pianist Prophecy), this song was written by Jesse Smith. This song is basically about legalistic hypocrisy within the church. I've been raised in the church and when I got into the hardcore/punk/metal scene (even the Christian) stuff I was told it was evil and to stay away from it. I was instantly judged for my music, clothing style, and hair style, all while these people were far from perfect. I'm not saying I'm perfect at all, no one is. But some many people within the church have ruined the reputation of the church, and these lyrics really nail the way some (not all) of these people are like. Here are the lyrics... "your tongue pierced my fragile heart, careless words are daggers thrown, unaware unapproachable unwilling silence from a sounding voice, you entwine praise with curses, your words burn like hell itself, silence from a sounding voice, all this by the tongue created, your words become hell itself, your words become hell itself, the tongue creates it tongue".

August of 1999, the album; "Liberate Te Ex In Feris, Save Yourself from Hell", was released. This album I ordered online, and waited for it to come in the mail again. Now this album I had already heard some of the songs when I had seen them live a few months before. It finally came and I had to go work my security shift with Aaron Irizarry, so I put it on the guard shack and once again Zao had made another amazing album. This album had some dark lyrics that I really liked. For example one of the best songs on the album is; "Savannah". Savannah Michelle Wilsey was an adult film actress, who committed suicide after she had been in a car accident, broke her nose and saw her face and felt worthless, she then shot herself and died. I'd like to go into more detail about this album, but there are 5 more albums I'd like to talk about.

As I mentioned I'm going try not to go into as much detail in all the albums, as much as I would like to, this blog is getting long. In February of 2001, Zao released the album, "Self Titled". Once again they made a great album, with some amazing songs, the open track "5 Year Winter", was the song they closed when I saw them play recently at Chain Fest. After this album came out, the band; "broke up". Throughout the history of Zao, us Zao fans have been told; "This is the end of Zao", "This will be the last Zao album", "This will be the last Zao tour." Being a Zao fan is like being part of a dysfunctional family (who isn't part of a dysfunctional family, no family is perfect). But us die hard Zao fans, support the band no matter what the circumstance who the members are. In fact I saw them play a couple times when, Corey Darst did lead vocals for them between 2000-01, nothing against Corey he is a very talented vocalist, but it just wasn't the same not seeing Daniel on stage. Now fast forward to July 2002, and Zao (who a lot of us thought had broken up), released the album, "Parade of Chaos." This album only had Scott Meilinger (who by the way is a die hard Pittsburgh Penguins fan), the last album with Jesse Smith (who not only played drums, but also played guitar on the album), and the return of Daniel Weylandt on vocals. When I first heard this album it sounded as if they rushed making the album, then after watching the documentary "Lesser Lights of Heaven", I was right. Quick side note I highly recommend watching the documentary, I own and it comes with a concert (which I was at), at the Glass House in Pomona, CA. I still really enjoy the album; "Parade of Chaos". One key song I want to mention is; "Free the Three". "Free the Three" is a song about the "West Memphis Three", the West Memphis Three, were three teenage boys who were accused falsely of murdering 3 young boys, as part of a Satanic ritual. Sao would always play this song live at their shows, to let people know about; Damien, Jessie, and Jason. On August 19, 2011, the three boys were finally released from prison, the murders took place in 1993, but if wasn't for bands like Zao, along with other bands and celebrities, myself along with others would had never known about the, "West Memphis Three." And myself along with thousands of other people, do want justice for whoever killed the three young boys. Just like all their other albums, Zao has never been afraid to cover topics that most artists would never discuss, in fear of offending people, one of the many reasons I've always loved Zao.

In July 2014 Zao released the album, "The Funeral of God", this would be the first album they would release on Ferret Records, after nearly 8 years on Solid State Records. Lyrically this is one of my all time favorite albums. Because of the album title this album was very controversial, but the people who complained about this album, did not even bother reading the lyrics and the concept of the album. The concept of, "The Funeral of God", The concept of the album, is a narrating story in which God, fed up with path chosen by humanity, decides to disappear, leaving humanity to its fate. Subsequently, the world falls into a state of war and self-destruction. However, man soon reverts to a state in which he waits for God to return.(This came from Wikipedia, however I remember reading articles in magazines about this album and this is the concept.)

*Like I mentioned before I'm not going into as much details into the last two albums, I really should have made this blog a two parter, but there is so much to write about with Zao.

In June 2006 Zao released, "The Fear is What Keeps Us Here", then in May 2009 Zao released, "Awake". These albums had Daniel on vocals, Scott on guitar, Jeff Gretz a member on drums, and Martin Lunn a new member on bass. I will say both of these albums are simply amazing, musically and lyrically. I have never heard an album that I've been disappointed with, they continue to make great music. I'm looking forward to the band making great music.

As of September 2016, Zao is still playing live and making new music (also Russ has returned to the band), in July 2015, Zao released a a two 7 inch, you can also purchase the two tracks on iTunes (which is where I bought it). Zao also continues to play a few live shows a year, I recently saw them at Chain Fest (Santa Ana, CA) on September 17, 2016, they put on an amazing set, in my opinion the best set of the day (here is a video I took of them playing, "The Rising End). Also at the music festival, I was able to meet; Martin we had a great talk about his appearance on the Urban Achiever podcast, I talked to Scott about hockey and met and had talked to Daniel about their shows back in '99. Also at the show Zao announced that they will be releasing a new album; "The Well Intentioned Virus", later this year in 2016, I'm very excited for their new album. I cannot believe it's been almost 20 years that I've been a Zao fan. Even though their have been countless changes (20 different members in all), I have continued to support them and been a Zao fan. Like I said in the beginning they are one of the best, in my opinion the best metal-core band of all time. As I was editing this blog Zao announced that their new album will be released on December 9, 2016.

Meeting at Daniel at Chain Fest

My Life As an Ex-Church Staff Member

Before I start this blog, I just want you (the reader), to know I have nothing against anyone who's job or main source of income is being in the ministry full time, this is about God doing a change in my heart, so please read the blog and leave comments below.

As most of you know, I was in "full-time" ministry for 10 years, what I mean by "full-time", is that it was my job and it was my source of income. Most of that time, I absolutely loved what I did, it was to me the best job in the world, I worked a job that I loved doing, to the point that I did not consider it work. I looked forward to going into work every day.

In August of 2011, God closed the door on being in "full-time" ministry, my wife and I had been married for only 9 months, and what I thought was my career was gone. I'm not going to lie I took it very hard, to point that I went through some heavy depression. After 10 years of doing something I loved, and got paid for it, I felt I was not quailed to do anything.

Now fast forward to November 10, 2012... My first beautiful, wonderful daughter, is born; Gloria Rose Arellano...

First picture of Gloria and I together

Gloria just a little after she was born

One of the very few times Gloria let me hold her

One of the greatest gifts I have ever received, my first daughter of two daughters (Amalia was born February 25, 2015). At first Gloria was not really a daddy's girl. Gloria was the biggest mommy's girl you would ever see. From the time Gloria was born to the age of around a year and a half, she would scream her head off if I tried to hold. The only person Gloria would let hold her was mommy. In fact on days in which Jenette had to work and I had the day off, Gloria would cry and scream from the moment Jenette left the house until she got home from work. As soon as Jenette would hold Gloria, she would stop crying in a heart beat. One time at home we handed Gloria back and forth to each other, the moment I would touch she would scream bloody murder, but as soon as Jenette held she would stop. Not only would Gloria stop crying she would give me this little smirk, as if she knew what she was doing.

After about a year and a half Gloria finally warmed up to me, to the point we started doing daddy/daughter date nights which she absolutely loves to do, it's something I plan to do with her until God brings her, her husband (I hate him already). Gloria's favorite daddy/daughter date place to go, is going to a Kings game, yep she's defiantly my daughter. By the way she loves watching hockey and hates intermission because there is no hockey going on, on the ice.

Gloria, Bailey and I at a Kings game

Let's fast forward again all the way to 2 months ago, May  of 2016. Now during this time I still really struggled with the fact of no longer being in full-time ministry and the depression would go off and on. I've worked at Ralphs, as a painter, and currently work for Sprouts and at Alta Loma Jr. High school. Now every morning when Gloria wakes up she runs to wake me up (even though I get home real late every night), I don't mind at all she's my daughter and she has become a daddy's girl. There are two questions Gloria asks me every morning; "Daddy do you have to work at the Jr. High?" And; "Daddy do you have to work at Sprouties?" When I say no she gets very happy and dances around the room. She's always super happy when I do not have to work at Sprouts, because when I work at Sprouts I work 2:30 - 11:00 at night, which means I'm not home for the evening.

Gloria at Disneyland

One particular day when I told Gloria, that I had to work at Sprouts, she started to cry and say, "Daddy I DO NOT LIKE SPROUTIES!" As soon as those words came out of her mouth, it hit me. After 5 years of no longer being in "full-time" ministry, and it eating away at me daily, in which I went through times of depression, feeling like I had no one to talk to about the situation, I was completely happy, content, and in complete peace of no longer doing my old occupation. The reason why... Gloria said; "I do not like Sprouts." Now if I was still working at the church there were days, in which I was there from 8 in the morning until 10:00 at night, sometimes a few nights a week. I believe in my heart that God showed me if I was still working at the church, Gloria would say; "Daddy I do not like church." During my life time I have met so many, "Pastor kids" who no longer attend church or even have any type of relationship with God. I have also met many "Pastor kids" who do still go to church, have a relationship with God and some have even followed in their dad's footsteps and have become Pastor's themselves, and I think that is awesome.

I think there are many factors that go into the reason why a Pastor's kid may either follow Christ and still follow Christ and why some just want nothing to do with church or anything to do with God. But I'm going to cover just one factor, "The personality of the child." While some kids may think it's great that their dad is a pastor or minister at a church, and fully support him, other kids are not like that. Gloria loves to just stay home, relax, with her mommy, daddy, and her baby sister too. Gloria loves it when we are all home together, sometimes we say; "Let's go out." Gloria says, "I just want to stay home." There are kids just like Gloria, who do not like their parents place of employment because they take there, mommy or daddy away from them. While some kids are proud of what there parents do. I have even read stories of children of professional sports, who now hate the sport there dad played because, there dad was never home. Now if Gloria grows up, never wanting to shop at Sprouts because, Sprouts did not allow me to be home for dinner every night, I'm fine with that. But if Gloria grows up never wanting to go to church again or have a relationship with Christ, that would kill me. Gloria loves God and she loves going to church, she loves her class, her Bible stories, the songs she sings, she loves going to BSF (Bible study fellowship) with her Grandma, and she loved going to her first VBS.

Gloria at her 1st VBS

I just want to say I have nothing against anyone who may be a Pastor, minister, or any type of position like who have kids. If your kids love what you do and support you hey I'm so happy for you and I still wish I could do the same. But if you see one of your kids have a big struggle with what you are doing and it's effecting their relationship with Christ, perhaps you should pray if God has another way for you to provide for your family. Now you can still serve at church, I do myself, on Sunday mornings I help set up the nursery and the rest of the church and on Thursday nights if I have the night off I help out with the high school kids. Do I still miss my old "job'? Yes I do, it was my favorite job I ever had, I have nothing against the churches I worked or there pastors, I know where God wants me, serving my wife and daughters first, and if I have time serving Him at church. Do I miss teaching? Yes I miss teaching a lot, and I would love to do it again some day. On a side note, working a regular job has opened so many doors that I never had opened to me before. The places I have worked at, I've had the awesome opportunity to make friends, yes friends with those outside what we may call the "church." I have friends who I would have never even met while working at a church 5 days a week, I've grown to love these co-workers of my who are also my friends, and we love hanging out together. Also now if I've had a long weekend and I'm tired I have no problem just staying home with my family on a Sunday morning, although I do work most Sundays now. Or if I have a Sunday off, I can go to Disneyland with the family.

Riding Dumbo at Disneyland

One other thing during my many years of being a full-time minister I really think I impacted only one kid. In fact this kid was not even in the ministry that I was the overseer for, she was a high school kid. There was a young girl who would show up to church every Sunday, dressed very "dark" and was into metal music. Now I was and still am a fan of punk, metal, hardcore music, so I would always talk to her and she would sometimes have a friend with her and we would just talk about music, one band she liked that I introduced her to was, Zao (I'm listening to them as I'm writing this blog), she even went to go see them with a group of us to see Zao in concert, along with Demon Hunter at the Glass House in Pomona. Well a few years went by and I ended up getting a Facebook message from her and she told me how she had completely changed he life around for the good and thanked me for the impact I had on her, and Jenette and I ended up taking her to go see Brian "Head" Welch in concert, someone who had a huge influence on her turning her life to God. We had an awesome time and we even got to met him after the concert, she ended up writing a blog on it. A couple years after that she invited us to her wedding, she is now happily married and has a beautiful baby son, around the same age as, our youngest Amalia. So Marlyssa, thank you, for letting me know that, it meant a lot, I felt and still feel as if you are the only person I impacted, and if that is the case, it was completely worth it, I just wanted to show you, true Christian love, which I know you did not receive, from some within the church. You can check out her blog at Paint The Barn Red.

In closing I just want to say how happy I am now, that I'm no longer a "full-time" minister as a job. I'm no a full-time minister to my family, and I'm so blessed to have an amazing, beautiful, supportive wife and two amazing, beautiful daughters. I also do not regret the years I had working/serving at the churches I 

Gloria, Amalia and I on a daddy/daughter date night

Easter 2016 at church

My Life As a Wrestling Fan (Part 1)

I already know what some of you are thinking... "You're a wrestling fan?" Yes I am and I've been one for a long time, probably since around 1985-86, because the first Wrestlemania I remember was Wrestlemania 2, when Hulk Hogan went up against King Kong Bundy. Wrestlemania 2 was the first wrestling VHS tape my parents let me rent as well. This blog will be broken up into 2 possibility 3 parts. The first blog will be about how I got into wrestling and what I remember of the 80's to mid 90's of wrestling. The 2nd part will mostly be on what most wrestling fans think the greatest era of wrestling, which was the Monday Night Wars and The Attitude Era. So if you're a wrestling fan, I hope you enjoy this, if you're not a wrestling fan, please continue to read, you might enjoy it. Also I know there are a few of you out there who are closet wrestling fans, you know the ones who will not admit they watch wrestling, and will even make fun of those who do watch, I know you will enjoy this blog as well. 

People often ask me; "When and how did you become a wrestling fan?" It goes back to when I was around 8 or 9 years old, and like every kid back in the 80's I watched Saturday morning cartoons. But one day as I was watching cartoons on a Saturday morning on channel 11 (Fox LA), WWF Super Stars of Wrestling came on, and I became hooked. WWF Superstars of Wrestling Video. This was my favorite show to watch on Saturdays. Sometimes I would ride my bike to my friend's house (Jay) and watch Superstars with his Filipino grandma who would cheer and yell at the TV in Filipino, she didn't speak any English but she watched wrestling with us and gave us candy, so she was cool in my book.

Like most kids who watched wrestling, especially WWF, my first favorite wrestler was the immortal; Hulk Hogan. I was a Hulkamaniac, I even had a pair of yellow underwear, to be like Hulk Hogan. I'll never forget watching him on TV, he was like a comic super hero, except he was real. Like I mentioned before the first Wrestlemania I remember was Wrestlemania 2. As a kid growing up when we would go to the video store, we would rent one movie for the family to watch and then my brother and I would rent one WWF VHS, the first one we rented was Wrestlemania 2, the main event was a cage match with King Kong Bundy vs. Hulk Hogan, and of course Hulk Hogan got the win. I'll never forget those trips to the video store, and looking forward to a couple months after a pay-per view looking for the newest video. Now back in those days there was only 4 pay-per views all year; there was The Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, SummerSlam, and The Survivor Series, the Survivor Series was on Thanksgiving. So back in those days pay-per views were a much bigger deal, we were never able to get one, so we had to wait until Saturday morning and watch Super Stars of wrestling to find out what happened. Or what I liked to do is wait for the latest issue of WWF magazine and read all the details of each match, I would either buy the magazine or read the magazine at the grocery store while my mom went grocery shopping. One time an old lady who was giving out samples went up to me while I was reading the WWF magazine and asked me; "Does your mom let you watch that?" And I said, "Yes, she does." And she said; "I think it's evil and you shouldn't be watching it." I just looked at her like she was crazy.

Another show that I use to love to watch as a kid growing up, was Monday Night Prime Time Wrestling on the USA Network. Before there was Monday Night Raw there was Prime Time Wrestling. Now being that the show was aired on a school night I had to sneak watching it. Now during this time we lived in a two-story apartment. Once we (myself, my brother and sister) were sent to bed my parents would stay down stairs and watch TV. I would then proceed to my parents bedroom (they had a TV with cable), and I would watch Prime Time Wrestling with the volume down real low. I use to love Prime Time Wrestling because it was 2 hours of wrestling. They also had a studio, and through the years had a variety of hosts, the first ones being Gorilla Monsoon and Booby the Brain Heenan. Heenan was the guy you loved to hate, he was the "heel" commentator, and always took the side of the heels, but he always made me laugh the way he would take to Gorilla Monsoon. As the years went by there would be other guys hosting the show such as; Jesse "The Body" Ventura (who later became Governor of Minnesota), Vince McMahon was a host as well. As a kid I no idea that Vince McMahon was also the President of the company. I loved Prime Time Wrestling because it was just more WWF wrestling to watch. WWF Prime Time Wrestling

Another show I use to love to watch was Saturday Night's Main Event. Now Saturday Night's Main Event was not on every Saturday night  it was on a few times a year and it was the only time you would see matches, with the top wrestlers which was not a pay-per view. The only bad thing was that Saturday Night's Main Event came on TV on NBC at 11:30 PM. Now even though it was the weekend that was still pass my brother's and my bedtime. But we had a TV in our room with an antenna, which we were able to get channel 4 in. So we would turn the volume down real low and watch, some great matches. The Main Event I remember the most was one in which the main event of the night was Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant. The match ended with the referee who had been "paid" by the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase, counted a three count on Hulk Hogan even though his legs were on the rope. I'll never forget how upset my brother and I were watching this and how upset we were at the ref, and then another ref came out who was that referee's twin brother. So our hero Hulk Hogan picked up the bad referee and threw him on top of Andre the Giant, Ted DiBase and Virgil. My brother and I wanted to stay home from church on Sunday to watch WWF Wrestling Challenge to see if "President" Jack Tunney would reverse the desition, but instead we found out the following week there would be tournament for the WWF Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 4, which the Macho Man Randy Savage went on to beat, by beating the Million Dollar Man DiBase. Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant Saturday Night Main Event



Well that's it for this part, in the next part I will be talking about the "Attitude Era", and how big wrestling became, and how Monday Night Raw, changed Monday nights forever.

My Life As Someone Who Suffers With Asthma

Well before I start writing this new blog, I know it's been a while since I wrote my last one (I've been busy). But I've been blown away by how many people have read my last two blogs and who has responded to me through Twitter about my blogs. My Dodger blog was read by over 300 people, and I received responses from Dodger broadcasters, sports radio personalities, and ex-Dodger players. Then my blog about Tooth and Nail Records was read by over 400 people, including some of the band members I wrote about. So thank you, and I'm not expecting a huge response to this blog at all.

Well the reason why I've decided to write about having asthma for this blog, is because it's something I've had to deal with, for pretty much my whole life, and mainly because as I'm writing this I'm recovering from a recent asthma attack I had this past week.

I was first diagnosed with asthma at age 11, but I always knew I had it before, because I knew of all the symptoms and struggled with all of them. So as a kid through elementary school Jr. High and school; sometimes it was tough to have asthma, Also if you had asthma you were usually stereo typed as a nerd (oh it didn't help my cause that I also wear glasses.)

Now let's getting something straight, just because a person has asthma it does that make them a nerd. In fact I have a theory, everyone is a nerd, yes that's what I said everyone is a nerd. What do I mean by that? Well everyone has at least one thing, most of us a few things, that we are absolutely passionate about, which may be a hobby, an interest, TV show, you get my point. For me I am a hockey nerd, particularly a L.A. Kings nerd, I know things about the Kings that most likely most people who work for the team do not know. Case in point; on the Kings post-game show during Kings talk, they always have a trivia question and I usually know it, and yes I have called in and answered the question and ended up winning some Popcornopolis, which made my wife Jenette very happy.

Well what is asthma? Here is a link you can click on to read about Asthma.com. Now to explain to you who do not have asthma what it feels like. Sometimes it hits very quickly, and it feels as if a 600 lb. man is sitting on your chest and he's refusing to get off. To be honest that's not the tough part, you need to cough, you pretty much have to cough, but when you do it feels as if someone is stabbing you with two knives inside your chest. At times it even hurts to talk because it's very difficult to get a word out. It even hurts to laugh, one time when I was recovering from an asthma attack I was at home resting watching Seinfeld, I started laughing and my lungs felt as if I was being stabbed, so normally when I'm recovering from an asthma attack I try to avoid watching funny shows or movies. So that is a short and brief description and what asthma feels like. Because anyone who has asthma, as been told by someone who does not have asthma, to toughen up or to quit being such a wimp.

As someone who has my asthma, I have one small device that becomes one of my best friends, my inhaler. And yes, once again, when people see you with one of these, they automatically assume, you're a nerd. But for those of us with asthma, our inhalers can be our lifelines, one or two puffs from this wonderful device can clear up your lungs for a period of time and help you breathe again. Something else that helps out a lot while my asthma is bothering me, is taking a hot shower, the hot steams just helps clear my lungs, and normally after a bad asthma attack I take 3 to 5 showers a day. What makes it difficult now is that, I'm without insurance for a little while, so I'm not able to go see a doctor or get refills on the two different kind of inhalers I use (Qvar and Proair), but hopefully it should be kicking in quickly. This may not have been as a fun blog, but I just had to get it off my chest, yes that's meant to be funny, and I do know that was very cheesy.

Say hello to my little friend! 

My Life as a Tooth and Nail Records Fan

So I just finished watching the documentary "No New Kinda Story" the real story of Tooth & Nail Records, which was amazing, I just wish it was longer. I really enjoyed this documentary, mainly because I was completely able to relate it, and I pretty much lived through it. You can read in my past blogs how I got introduced to music, but when Tooth & Nail records came out it changed my life as well as tons of other people's lives also. Before I get into on how I became a Tooth & Nail records fan, I'll give you a little back round on what the "Christian" punk/hardcore/metal music scene was like.

Now we can't mention the punk/hardcore scene without talking about one of the greatest and one of the most influential bands ever, "The Crucified" (by the way I'm planning to do a blog on just The Crucified). Okay so before the days of Tooth and Nail and Solid State Record (Solid State is Tooth and Nail's hardcore/metal label). There was not much music for kids like me to choose from, if we wanted to listen to "Christian" style of punk, metal and the music we listen to. The good bands that were out there most likely were not being signed by any labels, because to the Christian labels, they "sounded evil" while to the regular labels they were to "Christian", so they were hated in both camps. In 1992 The Crucified broke up, and to me there really wasn't any other good "Christian" bands out there. Now skip ahead a couple of years, Tooth and Nail was founded in 1993, by Brandon Ebel. But I did not discover them until 1994. So it was sometime in 1994, and my mom said she was going to the Christian bookstore and asked if I wanted to come. Now by this time I had just gotten into punk and was listening to bands like; Rancid, NOFX, Pennywise, and other bands I discovered on the old Punk O Rama CD's. So I went ahead and went with my mom, in hopes of finding an older Crucified CD, I already had Pillars of Humanity on CD but there self titled album I had on cassette. So as I went to the music section I just saw the regular lame Christian music, like Petra, Carmen, and stuff to a punk rock kid just sucked. Then there was a end cap display of Tooth and Nail Records bands. These bands actually looked cool, and not lame. I ended up being able to get 4 CD's that night, the first album I grabbed was "The Crucified" self titled album which Tooth and Nail re-released so I was super excited about that. Then they also had a band called Focused, now I had seen Focused in concert back in '92 at a place called Club Post Necular, with Unashamed (one of my all-time favorite bands), outnumbered, and The Crucified, this was one of the craziest concerts I've been to and went on to change my life (which I will write about in The Crucified blog), so I grabbed the Focused "Bow" album. Then there were two other CD's I saw that really grabbed my attention as well...

They say never judge a book by it's cover, the same can be said for music as well, but these two albums had great covers, but were even better albums, musically. So the other 2 albums that got my attention was MxPx "Pokinatcha" album and a band called Blenderhead "Prime Candidate for Burnout". Now this was the first full-length MxPx album, and the band that put Tooth and Nail Records on the map and went on to sell millions of albums and become one of the most popular punk bands and are still playing today. Both albums I thought were great, it was so nice to hear good punk rock music. Even though I like MxPx, even to this day (I have tickets to go see them on July 25, in Santa Ana), and MxPx was probably the more popular band, I absolutely loved Blenderhead a lot more. I enjoyed their kind of in your face attitude and their lyrics are what I was really able to relate to, (Blenderhead is another band I'm planning on doing a blog on), but I will share the lyrics of one song that, to this day I relate to in my own life. Now I could probably tell you about each song on the album and I how was able to relate to it, but the one song that stood out amongst the rest was; "Purgatory". Here are the lyrics to, Purgatory; "Blood sucking maggot infested media machine. Ways to be cool and ways to be seen. Tell you when to jump and when to scream, just tune in at 8:15. It must be a drag to fit in. A stupid game where nobody wins, I'd rather be myself, then blend in with all the cans on the shelf. Licking the flames of conformity hell, being a poser sure is swell. Is that really you? I can't tell. You look like every other soul for sale in conformity hell. Jimmy and Jody and Buffy and Skip all have perfect hair and perfect hips. Jazzercize, step aerobics and thigh master too. Shakes and powders and pills for you." Oh yea for you bass lovers out there this song has some awesome bass. For me this song I did and I still relate to to this day. I hate all things trendy and just like the line; "I'd rather be myself then blend in with all the cans on the shelf." I just prefer being who I am, and I don't give a crap what others think about that.

Look at this cover I could you not buy this album

As Tooth and Nail kept on putting out one great album after another, I just became a bigger fan of their product. Tooth and Nail released the best music in; punk, hardcore, and rock. There were so many great bands, bands like; Starflyer 59, unashamed, strong arm, the blamed, stavesacre, just to name a few. Now at this time I was really into hardcore, and my favorite band from 95-97 was unashamed. Bands like focused, unashamed, and strong arm were known at the time as Spirit-filled hardcore, and these bands had some legendary shows and would play with bands like; Strife, snapcase, and Earth Crisis. 

One thing I use to love receiving in the mail was the Tooth and Nail catalog, it was usually just a small booklet of merchandise and CDs, but to me it was gold. I use to always want a Tooth and Nail Dickies jacket, but I never got it. Then out here in Southern California, there was the Tooth and Nail Festival, I think they only did this twice, I attended both of them. The first year it was at APU, this show was also the final show for my favorite band at the time; unashamed, I was upset because I wanted there set to be longer. Another band that played at this show was a band called Focal Point, which I really enjoyed, now a little bit of trivia Ryan Clark (lead singer of Demon Hunter), was the guitarist of Focal Point. now at the first Tooth and Nail Festival MxPx was suppose to headline, but some stupid ska kid (sorry I couldn't stand ska kids), got hurt during the Supertones set and Plank Eye and MxPx were not able to play. Also at the first Tooth and Nail Festival I met Bill Power (lead singer of blenderhead and he worked for Tooth and Nail Records). I remember my friend and I were just hanging out and Bill Power just came up to us introduced himself (I knew who he was, being a big blenderhead fan), and just hung out and talked, he asked us who we were looking forward to seeing the most, I said; "unashamed". By the way Billy Power has an awesome podcast you can check out on itunes called Urban Achiever, or just check out this link Urban Achiever.

The shirt I always wanted

During the early days of Tooth and Nail I would always be telling people about all the great bands on the label and I would make mix tapes for people, to prove to them that this music is good. I actually I made a mix tape for a well known celebrity. Back when I was in youth group during my Jr. and Sr. in high school an actress from the TV show "Flipper" was in my youth group, her name is Jessica Alba, yes that Jessica Alba. So after our youth group at church, we would all go out for pizza. On one particular Monday night Jessica came and sat with my group of friends (we were known as the punk rock/hardcore kids). So she started to ask us about the music we listen to, so I offered to make her a mix tape. Well I made her a mix tape consisting of all Tooth and Nail bands such as; MxPx, blenderhead, The Crucified, unashamed, focused, Plank Eye, Starflyer 59. The following Monday I gave her the tape, she gave me a hug and said; "Thank you". The following week she told me how much she enjoyed the tape. A little after this she went on to do a movie called; "Never Been Kissed" with Drew Berrymore, and we never saw Jessica again, but she went on and has a pretty good career. So somewhere in her storage she has a mix tape from the coolest guy she ever met, yeah right, but it's a cool story and it's true.

As Tooth and Nail kept on putting out amazing artists, they also began to have other branches of music labels, with BEC Recordings (contemporary Christian music), Uprok Recordings (hip-hop, not really my style), Plastiq Musiq (Electronic music, also not really my cup of tea), and my favorite label; Solid State Records (Hardcore and metal music). I absolutely loved and still love all the music that comes from Solid State. With bands like; Training for Utopia, Overcome, Soul Embraced, The Chariot, Zao, The Beloved, Underoath, and today they have bands such as Living Sacrifice (been with Solid State since the beginning), Wolves at the Gate, Haste the Day, and my favorite band Demon Hunter. So Tooth and Nail has a entire family of very diverse music, and to this day they still continue to put out great music by amazing artists.

Living Sacrifice (Circa 1997)

Demon Hunter

The Chariot (the craziest shows ever)

Now I could write so much more on how Tooth and Nail Records music has impacted my life but I will just put some videos of their music at the end of this blog. While working on this blog I decided to see how much of my music on my iPod is from; Tooth and Nail family of bands, and of the 4500 songs on my iPod almost 2000 are from Tooth and Nail artists. But in closing I just want to say thank you to Brandon Ebel for everything you've done and how this music has impacted countless lives. And a huge thank you to Brandon's grandpa for giving him the loan to start the record label (if you don't know what I'm talking about, go watch the documentary). Thank you for the 20 plus years of great music and lets hope for 20 more, and in twenty years when I'm 58 years old, I will still be a fan. I still have a dream of going to Seattle and going to the Tooth and Nail offices, it was a dream job for me, but God had other plans for me. Now for some music...

The first video by MxPx (they were still in high school)

Strong Arm one of the first hardcore videos I ever saw

Blenderhead "Purgatory"

Starflyer 59 (Pretty sure the band that has the most Tooth and Nail Releases)

90 Pound Wuss (one amazing punk band)

(stavesacre)

Zao

Underoath

MxPx returns to Tooth and Nail

Demon Hunter

My Life as a Dodger Fan

Well it's April and that could only mean one thing... my birthday! Nope, ever since I was a kid when April came it meant one thing; "It's time for Dodger baseball". Yep I am a life long Los Angeles Dodger fan. In fact when I was a kid, my dream was to play for the Dodgers and wear number 14, just like my favorite Dodger player Mike Scioscia  . Then there was also one of my all-time heroes, Jackie Robinson, even though I never got to see Jackie Robinson, in fact he passed away 5 years before I was even born I always admired him as a kid growing up. In fact in elementary school I did a report on Jackie Robinson, and to this day have read books on his life and of course I watched and loved the movie "42". To this day if there was one person I could meet, sit and have a conversation with it would be his wife; Rachel Robinson who I believe is an true inspiration. Also when I was a kid I one 1st place in a baseball skills competition for my age group, I think I was 9 years old, and received two tickets to a Dodger game and a couple weeks later received a letter and autographed picture from Tommy Lasorda.

My all-time favorite Dodger Mike Scoscia

Jackie Robinson

As for being an Dodger fan my entire life for as far back as I can remember, I always enjoyed going to Dodger Stadium to watch a Dodger Game. From the time I was a kid to now I love to show up early watch batting practice, enjoy a Farmer John Dodger Dog, while Nancy Bea plays on the Dodger Stadium organ, you really cannot beat that. . I have plenty of great memories as a kid, teenager, and as an adult watching the Dodgers at Dodger Stadium. One thing I use to do as a kid growing up was, being that my birthday is on April 9, it's always at the beginning of baseball season, and my dad would often take me to a Dodger game on my birthday or around my birthday, then I would sometimes get two Dodger games, because my Uncle who is the most die hard Dodger fan you'll ever meet would also take me to a game for my birthday. In fact the first time I ever went to a Dodger Opening Day, which by the way is a holiday for us Dodger fans, and it's something every Dodger fan must experience, myself I've been to four Opening Days. Alright getting back to my first Opening Day, which landed on my birthday on April 9, 1990. It was a great day the night before my parents dropped me off at my grandparents house so I spent the night, and the next day (a school day) was my birthday. I woke up my grandma gave me $20 to buy a souvenir at the game (I'll get back to that $20 later). Then my Uncle John and I left early from South Gate to Dodger Stadium. It was awesome, I remember walking into beautiful Dodger Stadium, the smell of grilled Dodger Dogs (grilled is the only way to eat them), with so many sounds; the sound of Nancy Bea playing on the organ, the sound of the crack of the bat as batting practice was going on, Roger of the Peanut guy, yelling; "Peanuts get your peanuts" (whenever I sat in the lodge I had to get peanuts from Roger. Before the game I remember them announcing the Dodger team player by player on the third base line, this was back when my uncle had season seats in lodge 145 (second level, aka the orange seats), so we had a great view. From what I recall about the game Orel "Bulldog" Hershiser started the game, I was happy to see Mike Scioscia playing and I think Hubie Brooks hit a 2 run HR in the 8th and the Dodgers won 4-2, it was a great game, and something I'll never forget. Now a little side story about the $20, when we got back to my grandparents house my grandma asked me; "So what did you buy with the $20". I told her; "My food", and my grandma responded like this, and if you knew my grandma, you knew what her favorite word was; "Well shit John, why did you make him pay for his food?". My uncle responded; "The ticket was his birthday gift." She said give him $20, for Jason to use at the next Dodger game he goes to. And he gave me $20 and the next time I went to a Dodger game I bought a new Dodger hat

                                                Nancy Bea on the Dodger Stadium organ

Circa 1986 a Dodger birthday game (From left to right- Me, my friend Frankie, my brother Tim, my friend Chad)

Ariel view of Dodger Stadium

The beauty of Dodger Stadium

Orel "Bulldog" Hershiser

Fernando Valenzuela

Dodger Dog (I like my with ketchup, mustard, and onions)

Pedro Guerrero was one of my favorites as a kid

Now perhaps my favorite Dodger memory and one of the greatest and to some people would say the greatest moment in Dodger history and even Los Angeles history, is of course game 1 of the 1988 World Series. Oh yea I was at the game. I'll never forget the day... I was an 11 year old kid who of course dreamed of being a Dodger one day. So my brother and I were playing baseball in the front yard, when my mom came out and said; "Jason, Uncle John is on the phone for you." I thought he was calling to ask me if was going to watch the Dodger game that evening as they were going to be playing game 1 of the World Series against the mighty Oakland A's. So I got on the phone and he asked; "What are you doing tonight?" I said; "Watching the Dodger game"! He then asked me; "Do you want to go to the game, and of course I yelled; "Yes". So he came out and picked me up. We got there so early that the parking lot gates were not even open yet. So we parked down the hill and walked up to the stadium, of course I bought a program (which I still have). Walking into the stadium it felt so different compared to a regular season game, it was the World Series. I remember so much of the game. Such as Micky Hatcher hitting a HR for the Dodgers and then sprinting around the bases, then there was the monstrous grand slam HR by Jose Canseco, my hero Mike Scioscia got an RBI single. Then came the bottom of the 9th, with the Oakland A's leading 4-3, Oakland brought in the best closer in MLB in 1988; Dennis Ecersley who had a league leading 45 saves that season, and he had 4 saves in the ALCS with a postseason 0.00 era. There were a few (not a lot) of fans who gave up and left, but Uncle John and I had faith in our Dodger blue and stayed in our seats in good old lodge 145. Dodger pitch-hitter got to first base by being walked. Then the last person who we thought would be playing that night emerged out of the Dodger dugout, as we were behind the Dodger dugout, we see number 23, Kirk Gibson come out of the dugout. Gibson had been injured and was not able to start in the game, in fact this was his only appearance in the entire World Series. Gibson worked Ecersley to a full count, 3 balls and 2 strikes, by this time Davis had stolen 2nd base. Gibson was fouling off balls, in fact one the foul balls was just a few rows behind us and if you watch a replay of the game you can catch a glimpse of  my Uncle and I, I'm standing on my seat because the entire stadium was standing up. So it's a full count everyone is on their feet including an Oakland A's fan behind us who claimed the night before she was partying with Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire. Then it happened, it was like slow motion, the pitch, Gibson swings and we knew right away the ball was going out of the yard, yet it seemed like slow motion as the ball just drifted over the right field fence and Dodger Stadium went crazy. The stadium was shaking it felt like an earthquake, we all went nuts, hugging and giving high fives to complete strangers. I remember no one wanted to leave, we turned around and that Oakland fan was crying. After the game we were walking back to the car, in the parking lot and I started to chant; "Sweep, sweep." As cars were honking and everyone was still cheering, my uncle stopped me right away and he told he said that in 1978 and the Dodgers lost to the New York Yankees in 6 games. As it turned out the Dodgers did not sweep the A's but they did go on to beat the Oakland A's in 5 games, to become World Champions, I remember after game 5 my dad and I going out to the front yard shaking up some cans of 7-up and pouring it on each other. 1988 was the last time the Dodgers won or even went to the World Series, as us Dodger fans have been waiting almost almost 30 years for a world championship, hopefully 2015 will be the year. Almost 20 years later I got my crumpled up 1988 game 1 World Series ticket stub autographed, by no other than Kirk Gibson. 

The famous Kirk Gibson home run (Video)

The long time voice of the Dodgers Vin Scully

Unbelievable 

Tommy Lasorda, loved in LA hated in San Fransisco

I have many other memories of watching Dodger games and of course listening to Vin Scully calling the Dodger games. I've been lucky to see some great games at Dodger Stadium as already mentioned, the Kirk Gibson HR. But there was another game with Kirk Gibson I remember as well. One game we use to go to as a family every year was the Hollywood Stars game. This was during the magical 1988 season, but in this game the Dodgers were playing the Montreal Expos. The Dodgers were down by one run going into the bottom of the 9th and that's when Kirk Gibson came up to bat. With a runner on second Gibson hit a single and brought in the game-tying run, he then stole 2nd base. Now to the exciting part, I don't remember who was up to bat for the Dodgers, but Kirk Gibson was on 2nd base (side note, this was way before the remodeling of the Dodger Stadium, so from home plate to the backstop was a good distance). So Gibson is on 2nd and the Expos pitcher, throws a wild pitch and we were sitting up on the top deck (to this day I love sitting in the top deck), from the top we see Gibson running like a bull out of a gate in Spain, we see him charging towards 3rd base, but we can tell he's not stopping, Gibson rounds third base and heads to home and scores the game winning run. It was then that a lot of us Dodger fans felt this could be a championship year, and it was. Kirk Gibson brought so much life into the Dodgers that year, Gibson was the NL MVP in 1988 as well.

Another great and historic game I had the privilege of attending was on October 2, 2004. That year the Dodgers and the hated San Fransisco Giants were in a head to head battle for the NL West title. In fact in came down to the final series of the season, at Dodger Stadium. The Dodgers were losing 3-0 going into the 9th inning. And right away the Dodgers scored 3 runs to tie the game, and before you knew it the bases were loaded. Then Steve Finley (who only played for the Dodgers for a few months) came up to bat, and hit a grand slam home run, to not only win the game, but also win the division for the Dodgers that season, unfortunately the Dodgers lost to the St. Louis Cardinals that year in the NLDS, but that was an amazing game, to be at. I've even seen a no-hitter pitched at Dodger Stadium it may have been against the Dodgers but watching a no-hitter live is very impressive; pitched by Kent Mercker of the Atlanta Braves, it was a birthday game April 8, 1994. Another thing I've been doing since I was a kid is keeping score at games, to this day I bring my own scorecard and keep score, it makes the game more enjoyable. 

In closing I could write so much more of my Dodger memories, but I'm hoping to make a lot more, hopefully with a World Series win this October. As for now I'll enjoy going to Dodger games, it's just too bad I can only afford to go to one or two games a year (so if you want to take me to game, hook me up). I played baseball up to a 16 year old playing Colt ball at Memorial Park in Upland. I had some decent years including a MVP year in 1988, which I had a .697 batting average. Sometimes when I go to games I look down at the field and wonder if I would of kept on playing, how far could I have gotten. I even had a dream of being a sports journalist (which is one reason why I started this blog). But for now I'll still cheer on my Dodgers, eat Dodger dogs, peanuts, cracker, and just enjoy being a fan. Even though I still dream of shagging fly balls in the outfield, taking batting practice, or even writing for the Dodgers. Please feel free to comment on your Dodger memories. LETS GO DODGERS!